February 2nd, 2011 
judowolf I would visit with significant others a month after a loved one’s death to determine if they would benefit from our bereavement programs. The one question that I was constantly asked was, “How long should I grieve?” The reason grieving people ask this question is because of the feedback they are receiving from family and friends to move on.
Some of the comments are – It has been a month since John’s death and time for you to quit moping around. John would want you to go back to work. When my Charlie died it was tough, but I moved on and made it.
Friends and family are understanding for the first month, and then feel the grieving period should be over. A month is the magical time and if they deviate from that time, people think something is wrong. Everyone is telling them to move on but their emotions are saying to grieve.
Grief is personal, each person goes through it differently, and time is irrelevant. The griever has to deal with the void in their life and needs time to heal.
When people do not grieve for a loved one the problems they can encounter are – severe depression, drug, or alcohol addiction, sleeplessness, isolation, loss of employment, and friendships.
So, if you lose a loved one grieve as long as it takes, do not listen to anyone else, and seek professional help if you feel you cannot go on.
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