January 10th, 2011 
judowolf The hardest thing for loved ones is to tell their dying family member; it is all right to die. Patients often need sanction to die as they continue to live for their families, and must know they will be okay when they are gone. Working for hospice, the following five reasons were the most common I encountered.
1) Cannot Live Without That Person
Children want to capture every minute of life possible with their parent even if he/she is suffering. Spouses do not want to lose their partner, as he/she cannot live without them.
2) Will Never Recover From the Loss
The closeness of the impending loss is overwhelming; people cannot or do not know how to deal with this, and are afraid they will never recover from the loss.
3) Guilt
Loved ones are afraid if they give permission that he/she will die sooner than their time and they will have to live with the guilt.
4) It Is Too Hard
Nobody wants to loss a loved one and giving permission is the hardest decision to make.
5) Emotional Upheaval
At this point in the dying process, patients and family members are at emotional odds. Emotions are in turmoil while death is calling the patient, and the loved one is asking them to stay.
The patient cannot compromise and needs the family to let go. Family members should realize the patient needs this permission in order to die peacefully.
If you cannot give permission, it is all right and you should not feel guilty. However, if you can, it is the greatest act of love you can bestow on a loved one.
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