The Older Man

The raccoon sat on his hind legs holding a piece of apple watching people strolling down the sidewalk. I sat on a park bench, was amazed by the raccoon’s behavior, and remembered a hospice patient I cared for and the Raccoon Man.

Leroy was a married father of three young children who liked to sit outside watching them play in the backyard. I visited Leroy on his birthday and we sat outside. Suddenly, a vintage Chevy pick-up came around the corner; pouring smoke out of the exhaust creating a large gray cloud of noxious gas making it hard to breathe. The driver-shifted gears causing a grinding sound so loud it was a miracle the transmission did not fall out. The pick-up stopped at the end of the driveway, the driver shut off the ignition, and a few moments later the engine stopped. The truck was a mass of rust spots interspersed with homemade patches, multicolored, with bald tires, taillights hanging out, the back window missing, and no windshield wipers. A wooden frame sat in the bed of the truck and hanging from it were animal traps of all shapes and sizes. The front door creaked open; a small bent over man exited the truck, moved to the back, reached in the bed, grabbed something, and headed up the driveway.

Seeing the truck a smile creased Leroy’s lips, and he told me it was the Raccoon Man. The driveway was long and when the man was halfway up,  realized he was carrying a large dead raccoon by the tail. Raccoon man finished the trek, stopped in front of Leroy, shook his hand, wished him happy birthday, and handed him the raccoon.

Raccoon man could not stand up straight and looking up I gazed into a hundred year old face. His head resembled a black bowling bowl; the eyes resembling two holes drilled deep in the center, wrinkles etched his face like furrows, and when he smiled only his gum’s appeared. WE shook hands, exchanged pleasntries, and then he turned, ambled back to his truck, hoisted himself up, and as he drove away, the truck backfired.

Leroy held the raccoon on his lap and told me raccoon man is famous and it was an honor when he gave you a raccoon. I asked what he was going to do with the raccoon and after giving me a quizzical look, said, “Eat it of course.”

How many of you fine people have eaten raccoon? I have not, but have eaten goat, rattlesnake, bear, and gator. What is the most exotic species you have eaten? Let me know.