The Older Man

Recently, my wife (aka the Empress) and I traveled to Boston; to attend our nieces wedding, and brought the Empress’s black chariot so we could sit in row one on the plane.

The security check point in Fort Myers is on a steep hill, the podium is in the middle causing people to hold on to it so they will not fall down. The Neanderthal checks tickets and ID’s then sends people to one of two lines. The Empress arrives, in her chariot, is directed to a mark in front of the metal detector,which creates a logjam causing chaos for the metal detector guardian.

 A female security troglodyte comes up, asked the Empress if she can walk, and when she replies in the negative pushes her through the metal detector sending it into a massive spasm, then escorts her to the frisking area. Where the Empress is patted down, felt up, frisked, and checked with the hand held wand; the chariot is tested for explosives, and the wheels examined for C4.

I chuckle watching people complain about the long lines, taking their shoes and belts off, removing their laptops from the travel case, and asked if they have any large bottles of liquid. I wonder how they would feel if they had to be pat down each time.

The chariot is checked at the boarding gate so it will be in Boston upon arrival. We board first, have the aisle, and window seat in row one, enabling us the pleasure of observing the happy anthropoids boarding.

This is the blissful time for the Empress as everyone grabs the back of her seat giving her 100 plus whiplashes.

The pleasant hominids fight for the overhead bin space with suitcases bigger than steamer trunks, complain when they won’t fit, and argue with the flight attendant who tells them they have to check the trunk.

The plane takes off and when it touches down the ecstatic humanoids immediately stand up, open the bins, pull their trunks out hitting people in the head, and stand in the aisle till the anthropoids in front deplane. This induces 50 more whiplashes for the Empress as they are the last ones off the plane.

I then bob, weave, swerve, duck, and spin around the hominoids in the way and make it to the outside where my brother awaits with the vehicle. He is assisting the Empress in the car when a large Neanderthal state policeman wanders up, grunts a few times, tells us we cannot park there, and to move along.

As the car pulls away, I am glad we made it, and am grateful for the chariot, as without it the Empress would never make the trip