The Older Man

I visit my mother once a week, while she is in Florida for the winter.  She resides in Massachusetts the other six months of the year and lives next door to my brother.  Her third husband recently died and as I knocked on the door knew he would be on my mothers mind. When the door opened, I hugged her, went in, and asked how she was doing. She said well, the place is quiet now that Sam is gone and can not wait to return to Massachusetts and her friends.

She was hungry, asked where he wanted to go to eat, and they agreed on the Longhorn.  When they were seated, the waitress came over and gave them menus; his mother ordered a Southern Comfort Manhattan and I ordered a virgin Bay Breeze. His mother like to enjoy her cocktail, they would not order for half an hour, but it was their time to talk.  She spoke about the condo and was undecided about what to do with it. She was getting older, it was hard to maintain, but did not like the weather in Massachusetts.  This did not surprise me as she is having difficulty making small decisions, let alone major ones. Her wishy-washy approach frustrates me, but I realizes her age is a contributing factor and the situation is not going to improve. Alzheimer’s is in the family: her mother died from it,  her brother is in a nursing home, and doesn’t recognize his children.

The condo problem faded away and she took a trip down memory lane. It was a story I heard ten times before, but didn’t interrupt, as it was important to her. Finishing her journey, she  asked if she was repeating herself. My facial expression said it all and when I did not reply; she stated I know Pete and repeat. The waitress returned, we  ordered, ate, paid the bill, and went back to the condo.

We sat in the living room, talked about Sam, and my father who had died 20 years ago. I missed my dad, enjoyed talking about him, and though the memories were fading, the good times would always be in my heart and mind. An hour passed, and it was time for me to go. Standing up, I kiss and hug her, and standing at the door tell her to call if she needs anything, and I will see her next week.

On the drive home, I rehash the conversations and am glad her memory is good 50% of the time.  All my life she has cared for me and now it is my turn to return the favor. Sometimes she is a royal pain in the ass, but I was that and more growing up. Our relationship had its ups and downs- the ups outnumbering the downs. It’s not going to be easy caring for her when her mind goes, but he is up to the task as  we love each other and nothing else matters. Pulling off the highway, I think about next week, and wonder how many more there will be.